Blessings and Beyond | The Unexpected Answer to my Prayers

13 Jun

Choosing to be a full-time mom to my now 28-month old toddler has been one of the drastic decisions I have made in my entire life. I have big dreams of finishing my Masters then applying to work overseas to fulfill my dream of being a Nurse Anesthetist. I’ve heard of this title while I was a scrub nurse on a major cleft lip and palate operation. I asked about it and I knew that a position like that is not available in the country since we have Anesthesiologist here.

But in the middle, well almost at the end of my masters, a big news came up! I was up for a staff nurse position in Brunei. I was caught in the middle of working abroad and finishing my degree. I was praying very hard because I wanted both. I prayed for the guidance of the Holy Spirit… I prayed that if it’s really for me, then I’d be ready. My parents were pushing me to go already because as they say, opportunity comes only once… I prayed more and more because a part of me didn’t want to leave. Then God answered my prayers in a very surprising way… I was pregnant.

Breaking the news to my family, especially my parents, was hard for me too. [But that’s another story that I won’t be telling…] Being pregnant led me to a different path – a path where my dreams were pushed away for something greater. All of my goals were put to a halt because I have to serve my purpose… to be a wife and a mother.

It is true that opportunities knock only once. These opportunities may come again, but after a long while. We may cry over spilled milk and may have so many “what ifs” at the back of our minds. It is perfectly normal for us to do so. But if we look close enough, they may not be what they seem. My opportunity to work abroad may just be a test of my faith in Him. Maybe something terrible might happen to me if I pursued going and God prevented me from it… Things happen for a reason. These reasons may be incomprehensible for us, but we just have to learn to TRUST that Someone is more powerful than us. Let me put in here one of my favorite lines in one of my favorite movies (A Walk to Remember), “Maybe God has better plans for me than I have for myself.”

 Looking back to these things make me realize that I am truly blessed. With this experience, I realized that God is in control. Yes we choose our destiny but God has His ways of bringing us back to His will. We just have to trust Him and continue praying… We just have to let go…and let God.

 

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